Friday, June 19, 2009

My Evil Side

I have an evil side that rears it's ugly head. It happens when you mess with my kids, my husband and my dog.

I try to be nice and take things in stride. But sometimes idiots (my nice side) get in the way.

My evil side does not get to come out and play often. She scares my Marine husband, that is how bad it is.

But last night......

she came out!

It started out all innocent. The 2 year old let the dog out. The dog ran. Ran like no dog has run before. She was free from being cooped up in the house for the last 3 weeks since she has been in heat. Can't say I blame her, if I got locked up in the house on my period I would run at the first chance too. Course knowing my tribe I would be tied up in the middle of the yard instead.

Anyways.... the very nice roofing crew that was cleaning up on the house behind us tried to catch her. My friend Kelly tried to help. Her 2 little girls tried to help. Sheba wasn't having anything to do with anyone who was going to help me get her back into the dreaded house.

Crap!

So there I was running down the street chasing this big goofy Great Dane with her big ole ears flapping like Dumbo.

Running is a form of excercise. Something I try to avoid at all costs. It's taken me 3 months to get this out of shape and I'll be damned if some dog is going to force me to get back into shape!

She ran into the neighbors yard. I heard the wife, who I know, telling the kids to stay away from the dog. She didn't recognize it. I came huffing and puffing up telling her she is friendly and unfortunately mine. She was real nice. She was trying, with her little boys, to catch the dog.

Enter the idiot.

Her husband opens the door and tells their dog to "get her". Well, their dog is a 20lb American Eskimo. Sheba is a 100 lb Great Dane. But she was good til the dog attacked her. Then he joined in kicking Sheba too. Poor thing was trying to defend herself and get away. I'm yelling at Sheba, his wife is yelling at him cause he let the dog out and he is screaming at me to get my dog.

Eventually Sheba got away and ran to my husband who is now in their front yard. The idiot comes barreling at me yelling to keep my dog away, he has every right to be in his yard, his dog is hurt and bleeding and he is going to call the police.....

I walked past him and calmly walked over to my husband. I was secretly hoping he would grab me though. I was in the Army, was Airborne qualified, have had hand to hand combat training, studied Tae Kwon Do and have a CCW. Plus, I got my Marine husband covering my back.

But he kept his distance. We got the dog and walked home with him following us all the way yelling that he was calling the police and going to sue us. Then he made a comment. He asked "why we were so chicken s#@t to not even talk to him".

Could I keep my mouth shut?

Nope!

I turned around and told him very calmly "I don't have a problem talking with you. I will not stoop to your level of maturity and yell and scream insults at you like a spoiled 4 year old not getting his way though."

The roofing crew cheered.

I bowed.

Then he called me a b#@%h.

I laughed out loud and looked at my husband and said loudly "He says that like it is a bad thing!"

My husband said "He's too stupid to know he hasn't seen that side of you".

He just amazed me that he took a situation that was getting under control. A nonviolent situation and turned it into a big deal. People like that just amaze me.

I feel so much better getting that off my chest though.

Oh yeah, he never did call the police.

We waited and waited and waited.

We also were going to go up north this weekend but a neighbor who has had run ins with him said not to. The idiot sliced up his trampoline as soon as they were gone for a couple hours. They came home to him sitting on their porch drinking a 6 pack. He said he was guarding their house cause he chased off a group of kids messing with their stuff. So, now we are staying at home to make sure nothing happens to the house.

and still no police.

5 comments:

Gina @ The Shabby Chic Cottage said...

Awww... you had a rough day! Congrats on keeping your cool, I'm never that together.
I hope nothing happens, and maybe the police will show up one year soon.

The White Farmhouse said...

My husband says when I am that together and calm that is when I scare him the most. The guys that work for us are terrified of me. They tell him that all the time. Heehee

blondiensc said...

you did good keeping your calm..neighbors can be so ridiculous...oh and your cards crack me up!

Lori said...

You did so much better than I would have in that situation. It is crappy though that now that you have to stay home for the week-end because of him!

carole said...

Oh Maggie:
I am not under the impression you keep your cool; me thinks you have a damn blast just breathing each day. You are NOT boring at all!!!
I could see you standing there with the Marine {your husband} behind you; Yeah for him!!!
I love what your husband said after your neighbor called you a b#@%h.
I like your cards too.
peace
carole