Monday, June 8, 2009

Just Shoot Me Now!

That is what I asked the grocery store check out girl to do. She just smiled and asked "Paper or plastic?"

See it started out that I needed to get something for dinner.

This meant packing up all the kids and going to the grocery store.

That was my downfall. I thought they would be "helpful".

Not even into the store Boss Hogg screams that she wants the car cart.

I hate the car carts.

Okay.... we get a car cart. It's a red one and she wants a blue one. Finally the boy spots a blue one and fetches it. She is happy. For awhile.

Down the aisles we go. 3 aisles into the store she decides she wants to "help". Thankfully I usually catch what she chucks into the cart to save some embarrassment in line. Like the 4 tubes of Preparation H she thinks I need. I know my kids are a pain in my butt, but 4 tubes?!

She tires of helping soon. It basically is just a ploy to get out of the cart and leave me feeling like a dork pushing the goofy thing around with no kid in it. One guy asked me if it was my favorite and I told him I like the ones at Meijer's with the TV's much more.

This is the time that I send the older two off to retrieve the youngest one. She's fast too. I catch glimpses of her running past the ends of the aisle with the other two in hot pursuit. She seems to enjoy it cause she is laughing all the time. Til she is caught and she lets out a shreak that requires Preparation H to releive the pain.

The people I pass in the aisle I just roll my eyes and say "Some people should control their kids better!" I can usually get through the rest of the store at this point. Mostly it is because if you keep a fast and steady pace it takes the kids awhile to catch up to you.

Then the goal line is in sight. The checkout lane. Don't get your hopes up too high. This is the point where the boy states that he needs to pee.

I think he just wants to check out the bathroom.

You can't tell me that in the short of time he is in there that he pees. I mean the door barely closes and he is walking out.

Back to the checkout before he has to pee again. By this time the kids have worn me down so much I say yes to anything that I think will make them happy and let us get out without bloodshed.

You would think everything is good from here on out. Maybe with normal kids, not mine though. The little suddenly decides she IS sitting in the cart and she will not get out without a fight. I have considered slipping the bag boys a note asking for help. I'm afraid they might ignore my pleas for help in fear I might come back in to the store though.


carole said...

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie:
You certainly have a quick wit!!!
You should apply to Carlton Cards ( to work for them contractually. You would make American Greetings the most popular cards in every store.
I use to work for them 30 + years ago. I created designs and a lady who lived not far from me wrote the words. You would be great at it!!!
You are so funny and verbalize it well.
I am falling off my chair~~~

The White Farmhouse said...

Aw shucks!

You know you have to look at things with a little laugh or you will just turn into a blubbering blob! So much nicer to laugh like a bowl full of jello!

That sounds like a fun job! I love those old lady cards. If I ever get off my lazy arse and do some stuff for my Etsy store, I do have some cards for there.

Lori said...

Oh my ~ I loved reading your trip to the grocery store! I cannot wait now to read on and look forward to further entries!