Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Day At The Doctor's

Today was the wonderful "get right in" trip to the doctor's.

Of course I was dressed to kill in my usual finery.

Hey what did you expect, I've been drinking cranberry juice for the last 4 days. It tends to put a little pucker power in ya! So.... in I go. My doctor is not in cause he is delivering a baby. Yes, my doctor is my OB/GYN. I usually don't get sick. Anyways, they tell me that one of his associates will be seeing me. Panic attack!

Why you may ask? Cause one of his associates is freaking hot! How a hot guy "associates" with a dork is beyond me. Maybe the OB/GYN herd is a little slim on hot guys to associate with. I don't know. So in I go, hoping and promising my first born if I don't get the hot one.

I got the chick.

The only girl in the associates. I can totally see why a girl would want to be in their association since they do have a token hottie. I like her though she has a sense of humor. So I tell her what is ailing me. She comes over and thumps me on the back "Does that hurt?" The little guys in my head tempt me to punch her in the shoulder and say "Does THAT hurt?" I resist though. Then she goes on. Of course they are all nosey and have to ask if you are on birth control. That is a sneaky way of asking if you are sexually active without coming out and saying it. HELLO! Married to a younger man? But I look at her seriously and say "Yes, we use the pull and pray method".

Atleast she giggled.

Then she tells me to pee in this itty bitty cup. They have to do a prego test cause the antibiotics that they want to prescribe can cause birth defects. Now peeing in those little dixie cups is hard enough for me when I am not cringing in pain. I guess I am just a lousy shot. I can however write my name in the snow! Nevermind....

Pregnancy test huh?

I didn't even study. This is where a major panic attack comes in. See, barring prenatal visits, I have been to the doctor 5 times since I have been with my husband. Each time I went in with an innocent complaint and came out pregnant. 2 weren't meant to be though. My husband told me he was worried that they would find me pregnant. Back in she comes, smiling. " Bad news with the test" she says "you're not pregnant". Bad news???? The little guys in my head are now beating the crap out of an efigy of her.

So now I have been prescribed more bedrest after I run to pick up kids. Oh and pick up meds that are going to turn my pee orangey. Orangey my fat fanny! That stuff glows in the dark! I could dip my clothes in that and go hunting! A little orangey.....

On a better note though, I got a very sweet gift today!

It's a Love Ya Award from Deb @ Proper Prim! Thank you sooo much Deb! You are too sweet and what you said made me blush!

Now I am going to share the love with Yvonne @ Stone Gables. I just love her blog! It's amazing that I have not shorted out my keyboard with drool. Her photography is beautiful, her food is scrumptious and her tablescapes are breathtaking.

Thank you to everyone for all your well wishes. I hope to be feeling better soon since I am a hunting widow til next Wednesday. Oh the projects that I could get done!


Cindy said...

You are a RIOT! OMG I laughed my head off reading your post...then felt bad because I know you're feeling really awful. I hope the antibiotics don't just turn your pee orange, but actually kick this thing in the butt and you can be back to your old wacky self. :)

Jill said...

Even in pain you are funny! I was laughing so hard I almost peed. I hope you are feeling better soon!
~ Jill

Beth said...

Too funny! Good luck with the anitboitics. Orange is not my color either! LOL

Miss Mustard Seed said...

Very funny. I've been on the orange pee medication before, though it's been a looong time (thankfully.) I don't think hot guys should be allowed to be OB/GYNs. That's just wrong.

Embellished Bayou said...

Hope you feel better soon, at least you had a little fun out of the whole ordeal!

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

First of all... WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE! Thank you for sharing your award!!!!! We have such a mutual admiration going on.
I'm glad you got to the DR. I have taken the orange-pee med before and you are right. I laughted so hard, I cried! You REALLY need to write a book! No, I absolutely mean it. You are so genuinely funny and it is so easy to relate to you!
Well, feel better! And thank you for being a good sharer and a hearty laugh!
I'll be by for another visit soon.