Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I Would Rather Lick A Toilet Clean Than Hang Window Treatments

There! I said it! I HATE HANGING WINDOW TREATMENTS! I suck at it too, as you can see from the swiss cheese that grows around my windows.


I dread doing that more than anything else in the world. When I switched around everyone's rooms it took me 6 months to work up to changing around the window treatments. When I repainted the living room though I wanted a different look. Wood blinds. I got my blinds at Lowe's, they are by Levelor. I mean how hard could they really be?!


They came with instructions! Not really detailed instructions. In fact, I even tried to read the ones written in French and didn't understand them any more. Probably cause I can't read French. Why is it when they write instructions in a foreign language they put a whole lot more words than the English version? I mean the French instructions had 4 lines of instruction. The English version just said "install bracket".


The first step was to install that there piece on the window sill. Sounds easy right?! There were two packets of parts and screws that I ripped open and didn't find those pieces. Now the smart person probably would of looked a little harder. Me? I ripped open the other 3 boxes thinking that maybe I had a mutant box with no brackets. Oh yeah AND tore open all the parts and screw packets too. After an hour of searching, cussing, screaming and crying, my oldest daughter found them.


"Aren't these them Mom"? No..... maybe..... go see what your sister is doing! Yeah, I thought they were covers for the rollers or something. They totally do not look like the little cartoon picture on the instructions! Now here is a little tip. If they say you need a drill, you need a drill. Don't try to "predrill" your spots with a hammer and high heeled shoe. That only consumed another hour of digging through the garage to find a drill. The same drill that I couldn't find for the last 2 years that my hubby SWORE he didn't have. Liar! But I digress, first I had to get the old mini blinds down.


I was whipping on through, taking down all the blinds and it never fails. Half of the blinds down and one stupid freaking screw has to screw me. It wouldn't come out! Try as I might, I couldn't get it out either! After an hour of monkeying around with it, I took a chisel and just lobbed off the part that was sticking out! Take that stupid screw!


I did eventually get the brackets installed without falling off the stool. That was a feat in itself. Nothing would complete this project more than a quick 8 hour trip to the ER. Now that the brackets are up and your arms are wore out, you just lift the 85 lb blind contraption made out of wood and steel up onto those brackets.


Thankfully, I got them all in the right spot and didn't have to redo any! I did have to take down the first one though. They didn't say in the instructions, English or French version, to put on the valance clips. See the wood part that is covering the metal part? I know, I get so technical sometimes! Anyways, there are plastic clips you have to put on to hold the wood part up there.


Don't forget the end caps either! They just pop on the bottom slat. The hole in the middle is for these other little plastic brackets that will hold the blind down. I didn't install those so I can easily raise the blinds and open the windows if I want to. They also give instructions on how to remove some of the extra slats, but since I understood those less than the installation ones, I didn't do it.

So there ya go! I got the wood blinds up. Now to find some panels and hang them. I also should patch all the previous attempts at hanging window treatments. This took almost all day to finish, I wonder how long that will take?

23 comments:

thepurplerose said...

I like the blinds!!! Hey, Gary wanted to know when you said nekkid bulb were you talking about the lamp or his head?

Theresa said...

Oh. Mah. Gawd! A toilet?? Are ya sure? Do what I do to avoid all this non sense...boycott window treatments. Not a single window here has such silly things. Let the sun shine in, my dear!

Funky Junk Interiors said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Funky Junk Interiors said...

LOL!!!

I'm sitting here eating out of a tub of peanut butter with my finger because I needed to just pout about something. And then I read this.

I had no plans to laugh today but you made me do it! Way funny!

Whew.. thanks. I needed that. :)

Donna

p.s. I hate blinds. But yours look nice. Kudos!

Bambi Pro said...

You are hilarious!

Mel said...

You totally killed that screw!! I can totally relate to project frustrations!...glad others get this way too...most of all...glad you finally got it hung up....enjoy your work and relax...tomorrow is filled with more projects...
Mel's Cabin

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

How funny! I used to make and hang window treatments for a living so if I never have to do it again I'm good, as for blinds, oh honey, I have a little project for you! Not many I pass off but that would be one for sure!

The Trenches of Parenting said...

I swear to God this sounded exactly like me when I was reading it.

The "best" part about hanging blinds and curtains is that you suddenly realized that it wasn't alien pod people you gave birth to, but monkeys from the Amazon because they will find SOME freaking way to turn that home improvement job you just took.... like 10 God-awful hours to do.... into vines to swing off their Barbie houses/launch pad with!

Enjoy then while you can!

Oh, BTW, if you don't have any spackling handy..... that tube of toothpaste that no one wants to brush their teeth with comes in real handy at a moment like this. The bonus is that you get a minty fresh smell in the room until you can get the more appropriate stuff to cover the holes with.

Primitive Echoes said...

That is just toooooo funny. I almosted peed my pants. But I guess my toilet would still be clean enough to lick if I am not using it.
Kat

cathy mosier said...

i use to hang blinds for a living... i will tell you this...don't kill me...okay? You can take out the extra slats and make them to fit the bottom of the window perfect..that is if your still sane after all this! :)

cathy mosier said...

It is not hard to do.. just take your time..

M4M4 said...

loved the post! it is a pain, i've got a total of 7 windows to go, but not all are big, two are a matter of finding the right valance.

Theresa said...

I feel your pain! I swear my shoulders just can't take complicated heavy window treatments anymore, the neighbors should be warned that there will be things they wish they never saw in my living room from time to time! LOL
Thanks for the laugh and kudos to you for getting them done!

vosges paris said...

It is a bad job especially because they are so heavy.. I used to have the wooden ones from IKEA and now have the white wooden ones , also from IKEA but.. I still have to change the brackets as I was in need of time and just hang the white ones in the browns LOL

Vintage Home said...

Good job gettin her done!

Jennifer Rizzo said...

I always hate hanging them too, I leave tons of holes! I figure that that's what wood putty is for! ;) Thanks for your comment! I haven't seen it anywhere! Isn't that funny? That local model was the local homeless transient...he was funny though in a nice way. He was a nice guy.

Dar said...

Only because I don't want the whole neighborhood seeing me in my jammies, do I have window treatments on my highway-facing windows...but then, I just came in from feeding the birds and I'm still in those jammies! Ha. Hmmmm, I think today is the day the curtains come down, the blinds, maybe not, and let the sun shine in, that is, when it decides to come out.
BlessYourHeart

Red Couch Recipes said...

I think this hit a chord with all of us. They look great. I have some curtains to hang, but my husband hates holes in the wall. It was good that he was gone the day my sister came when we were hanging photos and mirrors. Yes, she did use a shoe and NO, she didn't find a stud. I am going to refer to your post when I hang any wood blinds. Joni

Lori said...

Oh Maggie ~ you made me laugh out loud snort again!! I used to work with blinds and draperies so if you want me to take a run over to shorten them I will. I love the wood blinds ~ if the bedroom window was not 1000 inches wide which would cost about a million $$ to cover ~ I may invest in them myself! xo

PS: any good woman has used a shoe for a hammer and a knife for a screwdriver at SOME point and time!

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

The blinds look nice, a little spackle and paint and it'll be good as new:@)

Tanya said...

I'm joining your club..."Curtain Hanger Haters". I'll be President!
Great job on your blinds!!!!!!

Renée Finberg said...

i am sure your arms and back are killing you.
you will forget all about
it once you are nice and rested sitting on a chair admiring your work!

Lauren jonczak said...

I completely agree with you. Hanging window treatments are the absolute worst. My boyfriend and I just bought our first house and we must have changed the window treatments at least 10 times. We went from curtains to huge ugly drapes to shutters and I finally stopped at white wood blinds. And I refuse to change it again. If he doesn't like it then he can change it himself. But I do have to admit that the blinds look pretty good so I think were going to keep them for awhile. YAY!