Sunday, May 23, 2010

More bragging about my wicked gardening skills!

I know ya'll have been dying to see my yard. Right?! Well here is the 30 acres in the front that seems to go on for forever!

Here is the side yard. I call it the side yard cause I think it makes me sound uppity. You can still see that I have not picked up all 583 piles of grass yet either.

Call me crazy but I am under the assumption that when you have to weed whack around the boat maybe you don't use it that much and should get rid of it. Or turn it in to a planter. That's my neighbors house. They are very nice and very meticulous about their yard. I usually mow right after they have cause the next day they will be out there remowing their lawn. Isn't that mean? The guy mows his lawn like 3 times a week though. Any time anyone in the vicinity of his yard mows he remows.

Here is my grass pile in the firepit. I think that it did use to be alot bigger before we had all that rain and wind the other night. Hopefully it didn't blow into Crazy Mower Neighbors yard.

Just to give you an idea of how tall all 103 acres was. See by the fence where I still need to weed whack? It's still like 8 feet tall there.

Now for some prettiness. My irises are blooming! I think that I am most proud and impressed with these than any other flower. I brought them from our old house cause they were my husband's grandmother's irises. I replanted and have divided them and not managed to kill them yet!

Here is my white one that is just starting to bloom. I bought these a few years ago. So pretty!

Yes, I do have irises growing in my grass too. A few years ago when I divided them I thought that some were ruined. They sat in a bucket that filled with water for like forever! So I dumped the bucket. Now I have irises growing where I dumped it.

My lily garden that is just starting to grow. Can you tell how much I love my lilies by the way I lovingly weed and tend to them? I want to put a pond here since it is far enough away from the house that the killer vampire mosquitoes that will breed here won't get us too bad.

I have some purple irises too. That's supposed to be a flower garden but the grass seems to have overtaken it. After the flowers are gone I plan on pulling up the irises, dividing them and putting them around the inside of the fence.

Here is where I want to put in a veggie garden. As you can see I have gotten alot done on this little project. I'm not seeing us eating home grown veggies unless I really get my arse in gear!

I had to take a pic of this beauty! I am pretty proud of it actually even though it is a weed. I think when I pulled it there is a little Chinese guy on the other side of the planet thinking "Where did my plant go?" I really had to pull on this sucker too. I really wish that I had seen the poor Census Taker guy before I catapulted myself out of the flower bed at him. I saw him reaching for his mace. Wouldn't that have been funny? I mean in the "driving down the street and seeing someone catapulting themself out of their flower bed at the Census Taker guy and him macing them" kind of way. Not if it had happened to me kind of way. I wanted to take his picture but he wouldn't let me. I guess he doesn't want his identity to get out. I was going to sneak and take one with my phone but it was on the porch and he moved pretty fast for an old Census Taker guy.

I hate these plants! I would step on and squish every single one that I see but usually I am barefoot and they are covered with tiny daggers and funky hairs that you don't get out for a week. It takes a shovel and a pair of welding gloves to get rid of them.

I don't know what these are. I was gonna pull them out and then over my shoulder came this sweet little voice. "You don't like blackeyed susans?" Scared the living beejesus out of me! I turn around and there is this 180 year old woman. I don't know where she came from since I don't own an 180 year old woman. She was just standing there in her housecoat and slippers cause all 180 year old women wear housecoats not robes. She told me those were blackeyed susans. Every year I spend about $3000 dollars in blackeyed susans cause I just love them. They say that they come back every year but mine never do. Yet I am constantly pulling out these from my flower beds every year. That would be freaking hilarious if I was pulling out the blackeyed susan seedlings every spring and then buying more. Talk about job security!

Anyways, the nice 180 year old lady said they were blackeyed susans so for now I am keeping them to see if she was right. I would of asked her more gardening tips but Helga her kidnapper who is keeping her locked in a basement pulled up and whisked her away. She probably got in the car and they had a good chuckle about what she just told the Gullible Butt Up In The Air Idiot. If they aren't I will yank them out and curse the 180 Year Old Lady in the Housecoat and Slippers!

Here are the pots that I just had to have! I bought them, two in fact, plopped them in the flower beds and have never planted a darn thing in them. Weeds don't even grow in them. I vow this year that I will plant something in them though. I don't know if you can see, but there are even cobwebs in them. I think what I want for them is vinca. It's low growing and is a ground cover with little white flowers. I am such a gardening officianado. It'll look like the pots fell over and the flowers are spilling out. Isn't that an original idea? It's what it's supposed to look like anyways! Dork...

Anyways it is back to weeding for me. It is a gorgeous day out so I should be burnt to a crisp and whining by the end of the day. I think that I may even get daring and shave my legs to wear shorts. I know dreadlocks with shorts is a look, but not one that I want to sport around town. I really don't want to ruin a perfectly good pair of jeans either....

OMG, my toes look like monkey feet with a french manicure looking for the nearest branch to cling to!

Enough about my monkey toes, I got work to do. I was even so bored that I made up a song for me. The kids love hearing me sing it too. It goes to the Underdog tune.

"Here I come to (pick only one) mow/weed/whack away!"

Alright, alright, I'm going....

P.S. Thank you for all the sympathy for me for having to do the yard work. I do have to say though that me and my husband are like 3 year olds with a favorite toy when it comes to mowing the grass. We fight over it. Usually, he mentions the night before that the next day he is going to mow the grass. The next day before he gets home, I do it. I don't know why but I love me some grass mowing! Maybe cause I know how cool I look riding around like King Arthur in hot pink?


Jacqueline said...

Well Maggie, that was brilliant. Who would have thought that mowing the grass would be so interesting and funny. You certainly have an awful lot to mow. We think that mowing ours takes ages but it's nothing like yours. It's going to be so funny if your blackeyed susan's turn out to be weeds!! Keep us posted on that one, will you ?.... and, i love the neighbour who mows his and then as soon as someone mows theirs, he mows his again. Talk about keeping up with the Jones's !!
A brilliant post, Maggie at which I laughed , from start to finish.
Have a great week. XXXX

Southern Lady said...

So funny! I am glad that I can't see when my neighbors mow. A neighbor like that would drive me crazy! Carla

~mel said...

Your weeding out the black eyed susans is what I did with my coral bells and God knows how many other kinds of flowers. I too actually like mowing the lawn ~ but thankfully my neighbors are too far down the road and there's a bunch of woods between us ... so they don't have the pleasure of viewing. Your lily bed doesn't look too full of grass ... you can at least see the lilies! You should see mine right now ~ I won't even go there. Great post!!

Proper Prim said...

Oh Maggie I feel your pain... I have been gardening and weeding all weekend... I wish I could find the humour in that job... so far the weeds have won the battle... I have never seen so many weeds as I have this year... and why does grass grow everywhere you don't want it to and such a pig to remove. Good luck I don't envy you.

Hugs, Deb

Cher' Shots said...

Hey there, loved it all. I'm working on my "Plastic Joy Award" page, should be done soon. Thank you so much:)

Lori said...

You crack me up ~ I am not sure what part is my favorite but the 180 year old woman really got me!! Have fun gardening ~ it is a holiday here tomorrow and I am planning on doing some weeding myself ~ I call it instant gratification. xo

Lori said...

PS - you need to email me your info so I can send out your gift: Ciao bella

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Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

You have a BIG yard! And I now have another reason that you are my hero- You LIKE to mow grass, and have such funny stories to go along with it!
Maggie, I think the 108 year old housecoat lady is right. They are either black-eyed Susan or some kind of daisy like perenial. At least the leaves look like that. Leave them for now and if they are a weed- I'd use round up or something like that. Pulling is too much like work!

I just want to clear up something you commented about. You said I have a busy blogging week looking at my Upcoming Post- Good heavens, Maggie! I am not that industrious at all. They are planned for the near future, but not all in one week. I like that you think I could actually pull it off! God bless your little heart. That's why I love you, you give me way too much credit!!!!!

When you come to visit I have a great lawnmower I'll let you drive!

Dar said...

I LOVE to mow too. Bill has been doing it lately while I do the planting. He hates to mow under the low branches that bucked me off the mower last summer. He always leaves those for me...isn't he the sweetest? Your weed looks like it's from the mustard family...there, now I have to go look that one up...I'm with you and sister Mel, we all seem to pull up flowers that we have forgotten about. My first year here, I pulled up all the asparagus........dang......if only I knew.
Have a great day...hey, send hubby over, I could use a patio added onto my deck. He sure does some impressive work.

Dar said...

Hey, forgot to ask, Is that your 'water' feature?, the pond? Too cool to have your own lake.....geeeeez