Monday, October 26, 2009

Funny Grandparents Stories

Posted at the DIY Showoff Show & Tell Party. What better to bring to a party than crazy grandparent stories!

I love my grandparents! My dad's parents were a real cut up though. They loved each other and their 8 kids. My grandfather was a tool and die maker. He took pics of kids on a little pony that he had bought for extra money. He loved photography and writing poetry. My grandma was a SAHM. That lady could cook! She did so for the entire family on Sundays every week.

So Misha wanted the streaker story. Well.....

My grandparents would watch the evening news at 6 every night and then go on the porch to sit and relax after. Remember when streakers were everywhere? No of course you don't cause you are not that old. Well everyone was doing it. One night they did a story of a streaker. I don't know where he was streaking. Ok, I can't remember. My grandma told my grandpa that she would like to see a streaker one day. Weird.

So anyways, they finished watching the news and were going out on the porch. There porch was huge and went across the entire front of their house. My grandpa told my grandma that he would be out in a minute. So my grandma went out front and some of her friends were walking by on their nightly walk. She went to talk to them. Suddenly she hears "JULIA! ARE YOU WATCHING?" and here comes my grandpa running around the front of the house butt naked.

Well.... except he was still wearing his black socks. He NEVER took his socks off!

She yelled back to him "I DIDN'T MEAN YOU YOU OLD FOOL!"

Yup, that was my grandparents

We lost my grandpa in '75. My grandma was with us for 10 more years. She had had a heart attack and a masectomy. She got her prosthesis and did not like it. She also didn't drive. I was over there one day and she asked if I would take her to Joann Fabrics. I told her that I would but thought it strange cause she did not sew. So we went. I wandered off to look at stuff and a few minutes later I see her by the buttons with her eyes closed feeling buttons. I wasn't fast enough to get to her. The unfortunate saleslady got there first. I guess she thought she was blind and needed help.

Just as I got there I heard her tell the poor lady "I don't care about the color honey, it just has to feel like a nipple."

Yup, you heard that right....

I don't think the lady knew what to say at that point. My grandma thought her silence meant she should explain more. "Here", said my grandma reaching down her blouse and pulling out her prosthesis "They gave me this but it looks fake cause there is no nipple. I want to glue something to it so it looks more real."

Yeah, taking her out in public was always an adventure.

She didn't really think before she spoke unfortunately. Like when my Aunt Rose and Uncle Dick were leaving to go home one Sunday night. My grandma was playing poker with my dad and his brothers. My uncle went to kiss her goodbye and she started to get up. My uncle told her to sit. She looked at him and said "Don't be silly! I always will get up to kiss Dick!"

So now you know where I get my sense of humor. Maybe I can kidnap my grandpa's book of poems and post a few up here.

Any other funny grandparent stories?


Proper Prim said...

waht a sweet and humourous story... you gotta love them... love the streaker story... you can just imagine the horror on those ladies faces... and the socks cracked me right up...

aBohemianMarket said...

Actually I ahve tears in my eyes; your Grandma was real and she did not have to think as she spoke what she thought!!! A lot of folks could learn from her!!!
I LOVE your Grandma!!! She was a real jewel; what a perfect pair they were!!!
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing!!!
They are why you are so cool!!!
love & hugs

Jacqueline said...

Oh that was wonderful, Maggie. I just loved those stories, the streaker one and the button one. What amazing grandparents you had. I really can see where you got your sense of humour from, and thank goodness for it. Laughing is the BEST....I think that it cures all ills !!!! XXXX

Lori said...

What great stories Maggie and more importantly ~ what great memories (or should I say mamories?)

Maureen said...

Oh Maggie - such fond memories are hard to come by. Characters those two!

Fifi Flowers said...

LOVE old photos and hearing my grandparents' old stories!

Cindy said...

OMG toooo funny! You should write all the funny stuff down and get it published :)


The DIY Show Off said...

I love your stories! SO funny! They sound so sweet and definitely like there was never a dull moment! Thanks so much for sharing them in the Show & Tell - I really enjoyed it (and I was also wondering about the streaking too!).

Have a great Halloween!


Carmen said...

Literally laughing out loud over here! I hope that someday my grandchildren can tell stories like this about me! :D