Friday, December 4, 2009

Nope Haven't Died Yet!

I had so many plans for the weekend to get in the holiday mood.

I went out shopping for the first time on Black Friday to get a few things. Man those people are crazy!

I took both the kids to go see "New Dawn" on Saturday. I am going to blame the little brat next to me for my downfall though. All through the movie he kept turning his head towards me and coughing. So yes Santa he should be on your naughty list. Sorry I didn't catch his name though, but I am sure you can find him.

Sunday I started to feel yucky. It seemed the bladder thingy was back. Great! I had so much fun with it the first time that I was sooo glad it made another appearance.

Monday I thought it was back with a vengeance. After getting ahold of the doctor he wanted me to go to the lab to give a donation. Yeah, I feel like doing that. So Monday I laid on the couch in sweats, covered in 3 blankets with a heating pad crying to anyone who would listen.

Tuesday I went to have the test done. I hate urine tests. I was an expert marksman in the army with an M-16 and M-60. Yet ask me to pee in a cup and I am a horrible shot. I usually manage to get some in the cup and the rest on my hands, outside the cup, you get the idea. Plus it is not easy to bend down to look where you are aiming when you are fat.

Anyways.... I found out that not only do I have a bad bladder infection but also the H1N1 virus. Did I fail to mention that I also started my period? Yup, just slap them all on me. Could you also have me do a pap smear and a mammogram today too? That would be delightful!

So back home to the couch. Bed rest. We all know how that works. The hubby did stay home for 3 days to make sure that I was ok. I do think that the kids pushed him to the limit though. You can only take so much of them. The youngest came down with it yesterday. So far she is pretty good though. I've been able to keep here fever down. It was funny though last night. She had an accident in her panties and went to run for me and slipped in it. Landed right on her back. Jeffrey being the good big brother went running to her to make sure she was ok. Yeah, he slipped and fell in it too. Saves on paper towels! By the time they got through wallowing around in it it was all cleaned up! I do think the boy will be next to get it though.

So the house is trashed and the cupboards are bare. Unless anyone has any great casserole recipes for ketchup, garlic and cream cheese I guess I should go to the grocery store. Right now I am trying to figure out how after sweating about 20 gallons and not eating cause the smell or thought of food makes me sick for 4 days I still manage to gain 3 pounds? That is just not right! The only little ray of sunshine that I had was thinking of how much weight I had lost. But no! I freaking gain weight!

Just pack it right back there on my butt, cause lawd knows it isn't big enough already!

6 comments:

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

Oh, Maggie! It's good to know that your various illnesses did not make your sense of humor sick too. Sorry to laugh at your misery!
If I lived close I would bring you a big pot of chicken noodle soup and a shot or two of spmething a little stronger!
I am so glad you're back- I missed you!
With wishes for getting better-all of you,
Yvonne

Jacqueline said...

Oh dear, Maggie. Poor you. What a horrible time you are having. ....but I see that your sense of humour is seeing you through. I did like the story of the children slipping and a sliding in the results of their misfortunes, so to speak !!!! Rest up, dear Maggie, and, hopefully, you will be right for Christmas. Here's hoping that you feel much better soon. XXXX

Lori said...

I have missed you and was wondering ~ sorry to hear that you feel miserable! The pee story is priceless ~ you make me laugh out loud. I put a little picture up for you today so if you get a chance to head on over ~ please do! Take care.

Cindy said...

Aw....I'm so sorry you've been sooooo sick. Good think you have a savvy sense of humor, cause boy did you get hit! Maybe ask Santa Baby for a healthy home???

Shelly's Stuff Jewelry said...

Hope you are feeling better soon. You have an incredible sense of humor.

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

Hi maggie, just checking in. Hope you ae on the mend now! Come visit, you are missed at StoneGable!
Yvonne