Monday, December 21, 2009

I'm Not In The Mood!

Settle down here this is not a sex post. It is though a Christmas post. I'm not in the mood for Christmas. I've tried to get "in the mood". I apologize if that offends anyone. It's not a passing or recent thing either. Back in August when I saw the first Santas in the stores I just wanted to kick the crap out of his plastic molded jolly butt.

I even managed to talk my husband into a fake tree this year. Wasn't hard. I just didn't want to still be picking out pine needles out of my feet in July. It does make good kindling for the first bonfire of summer, but I'll buy charcoal fluid. We finally did get it up though.... on Saturday. I was the one who dragged it out though. There is a good thing about procrastination though, our $200 tree was 50% off.

And it's lit! Prelit Christmas tree! Cause I hate lights on Christmas trees. I think the lights are pretty, but I have a fear of them. It goes back to childhood. There would be my dad, all 300 pounds of him, legs splayed out, 6 pack of beer by his side and a humongous ball of lights. The first trick was to detangle the mess cause lawd knows he was not smart enough to wind them around something. Then came the fiddling. You know those monster paws can crush a delicate light bulb in one swoop. After the fiddling came the dreaded words....

"Here plug this in".

A few times of getting knocked on our butts from the electrical shock and we learned. MAKE YOURSELF SCARCE! The bulb part was ok. The tinsel sucked. I hate tinsel too. There was to be NO throwing a gob on our tree. Nope, my mom had to take each strand and carefully drape it over a branch. She would even "tweak" the tinsel throughout the season.

But now ours is decorated.


You can tell how tall my kids are. Lots of bulbs at the 3' level cause the bitty one was all over that. A few bulbs at the 4-1/2' level cause the boy was not exerting any energy and doing as little as possible. More bulbs close to the top, but not quite cause the oldest was too busy yelling at the bitty one not to bunch everything all up.

The stockings are not up though. I keep kidding myself that I am going to do them for Christmas. In reality, I see the old stockings and the "baby's first christmas" one up again. At the rate that I am going, she may still be using that stocking when she is 16.

Cause I am not in the mood....

I still have more than 1/2 my shopping to finish, all the wrapping to do and food to buy and burn. A house that desperately needs to be cleaned only to be trashed with having 10 people over for dinner. If Santa is late getting started, blame it on those damn DeLauders. We will more than likely be trying to squeeze in a visit with him at the last minute on Christmas Eve. He's not really all that jolly at this time. Could be why the bitty one has cried every time she has gone to see him. Last year she got off his lap, turned around and with tears streaming down her face yelled "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME!!!"

This year she says that she is not going to cry even if he punches her. I don't know what kinda psycho Santa she thinks we take her too. He may feel like punching a kid after being nice to 356,847 kids in 6 weeks but I have never seen him punch one. I know my son wanted to punch him last year. I begged, pleaded and cried for him to just stand next to Santa so I could have a pic. He agreed as long as he didn't have to sit on his lap. Up we go. The oldest one runs up and plops on his lap. The boy positioned himself standing next to Santa. Then came the bitty girl. She screamed bloody murder once I put her down. Santa did a little shifting. He put the bitty one on the older one's lap and grabbed the boy and pulled him on his lap. The girl snapped the pic. So that is my Santa picture. The oldest one beaming cause at 12 she can STILL sit on Santa's lap. The bitty one with tears and a pout lip down to her knees. And the boy glaring at Santa like he is a rotten so and so.

So for now I am off to clean and bake cookies. Rather finish baking cookies. And bake more of those little powdered sugar balls of goodness. Cause yesterday I ate waaaay too many of them and now I am short. So off I go to try to conjure up some kinda spirit for the holidays.

Cause I'm not in the mood....


10 comments:

Beth said...

Your tree looks great! I have a prelit artificial tree and wouldn't trade it for anything. It makes life so much easier. Hope the rest of your holidays are stress free!

Jacqueline said...

Come on Maggie. IT'S CHRISTMAS and you've got an English Christmas to organise or has that idea gone out of the window ?
Your Christmas tree looks great so I'm sure that you will gradually get into the Christmas spirit. Deep breaths and plenty of red wine !! XXXX

from our front porch... said...

You could join us in the barn! This is how we celebrate Christmas. Like every other day. Because horses still need to be cared for. I love it. Then we go back to the house, the two of us, and steam shrimp and pig out!

I have never liked Christmas. Stems from being an only child, the only child in the family! I got way too much each year and always felt overwhelmed.

We do not do gifts. We donate to our fave charieties. It works for us!

Misha

Shelly's Stuff Jewelry said...

Like Misha, we don't do gifts anymore either. It got to be so stressful and the true meaning of Christmas started to slip away. So, a couple of years ago we told the family we would not be participating in the exchange, but would still be there to spend time with them. December is stressful enough for me as I'm a Payroll Manager and all I can think about is year end and issuing W2's! Not having to worry about braving the malls to find the perfect gift is sheer bliss! I'm sure you'll find some Christmas spirit, and if not...that's okay, too!

cottagesweet said...

There wouldn't be anything wrong with giving up christmas. I gave it up a few years ago(due to theological doctrine) but, who says one must celebrate this holiday? It's actually freeing. Let those who enjoy it have it and those who do not, skip the celebrations and opt to do something else. Christmas was never about Christ from the beginning anyway.

Cindy said...

Girl, you crack me up. I'm having trouble with the whole Christmas spirit thing too....by this time I'm all like 'can we just get this over with now so I can go back to being a bum?'

My mom has a picture of me on santa's lap when I was like 3 or something, and it shows me trying to wiggle out of his arms....which means my dress is around my neck and my white tights aren't covering my undies. Indecent exposure methinks, but, ah, those were the good ole days. :)

Miss Mustard Seed said...

Would you like a large group of strangers to show up at your door and sing "We Need A Little Christmas Now"? I bet that would get you in the mood! :) I love Christmas, but I can totally get where you're coming from.

Marydon Ford said...

Awww!, M ~ What a kick .. still chuckling! We all have experienced these moments, I am sure ... sooooooo I am sending you a BIG HUG of MERRIMENT to CHEER you on & put you into the SPIRIT of JOY.

Have a beautiful Christmas as you celebrate the birth of our Savior ...

Merry Christmas ~
TTFN ~Marydon

Lori said...

Ah Maggie ~ it's the most wonderful time of the year!! You are too funny. I hope the Christmas spirit grabs you and gives you a big kiss under the mistletoe...

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

Maggie- slop some coffee for me too! That sounds just great!
Have a SAFE and HAPPY New Year's Eve, dear friend!
Yvonne