Well since I could come up with nothing inventive to do with ketchup, garlic and cream cheese, I went to the grocery store last night. I came downstairs and announced this to the tribe. My husband commented that he was glad I was starting to feel better since I "got dressed up". Well I guess after sitting/laying around in my sweats all week that putting on real clothes, jeans and a tee shirt, and brushing my hair could be construed as "dressed up".
So off I jumped into the grocery fetcher to the store. Maybe getting "dressed up" was making me feel better, maybe a little. Maybe it was just the miraculous event of going to the store without the urchins in tow. Who knows?! I was feeling festive! So festive that I even stopped at the coffee spot to get a cup to sip through the aisles. Obviously I thought that I had been transported to Mr Rogers neighborhood grocery store. The squeaky voiced kid asked if I wanted a "Pumpkin Pie Latte". Why will I think I am in a little french bistro sipping latte and eating pumpkin pie instead of being at Meijer's with 50,385 other people? Just a coffee, cream and sugar. Then he starts to list off all the blends there is to choose from. I JUST WANT A FREAKING COFFEE!
It was soooo nice to cruise through the grocery store without kids. I didn't have to buy 3 lbs of apples cause Syrina decided to "sample". I didn't have the boy trying to sneak junk food into my cart. I didn't have the girl texting EVERYONE on my phone. This is heaven.
Nirvana can be dangerous though. I start thinking that I will be the good mom and make fresh cookies for my kids. Plan flamboyant meals to impress the tribe. Crazy ideas like that. I even contemplated making my own pie crusts. Pfffft! Just stick to the list. Yes, I even made a list. Left the coupons in the cupboards but I remembered the list.
Then I saw him.....
The poor guy with two brats in tow. His wife's list in his hand just trying to keep his sanity and get through there as fast as he could. I found him in the soup aisle. "Kyle" wanted spaghettios. Dad told him no. Kyle insisted. Dad kept being patient but firm. Kyle argued. Dad got frustrated. It's not on the list and your mom will be mad at me. Kyle threw a fit. Dad begged for him to be good. I felt bad for him.
Then his cell phone rang.
Mom was calling to see "how things are going". Pffft, she knows how things are going that is why she sent him up with those two. He tells her the problem he is having. Some people don't realize that you can hear them on the other end when they yell. Especially if the recipient has to hold the phone away from their ear to keep blood from gushing out of their ear drums. So after his tongue lashing from her and alot of "yes dears" he hangs up. Kyle hasn't given up though. They are two aisles away from the freaking spaghettios!
I can feel for this guy. Most people are looking at him like he is a horrible person for not buying the kid some spaghettios. I can relate though. I got a "Kyle" at home. He is like a dog with a bone. He will not give it up for anything. I just want to snatch the kid and tell him to get his scrawny 5 year old buttocks on the side of the cart like his Dad told him and SHUT UP! I mean he has enough problems cause the baby in the front of the cart just threw up.
The best part of the whole trip? Coming home to find that Dad has convinced the kids to eat the Mac & Chez in the cupboard. You know, the boxes that they would not eat for me cause they don't like it? Yeah those.
Oh well, back to the couch....