Friday, August 26, 2011

More Blabberings From The Old Lady


I'm bored.

That is all I hear from my kids. That and "I don't want school to start". Except for the bitty one. She loves school. Who wouldn't love preschool? I want to be able to go to preschool. Not as a teacher, those kids would drive me nuts, but as a student. Someone tells you when to pee, when to eat and there is all the glue you can stuff in your pie hole available. Plus glitter, lots of glitter!

"Mom, where does popcorn come from?" Yes, these are the earth changing questions that I have to answer on a daily basis. "Corn". Short and sweet answers usually do the trick. "Buuuuut..... how do they maaaaaakkkkkke it?" Yes, you do have to drag out the letters when you are 4. It helps to substantiate between the pertinent questions and just the plain old stupid ones. My reply? Weeeellllllll, me being the stellar mom that I am was "How the heck do I know? Do I look like Orville Redenbacher?" I hope she didn't think I would google it, I had a candy bar in one hand and a diet coke in the other for pete's sake! Plus, the laptop was aaaaaalllllll the way on the other side of the coffee table.

Now, I usually don't talk politics here, but I got this email from my hubby that I thought was hilarious!

Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin


Our President Barak Obama


How fair is this? They get Rambo and we get Erkel!


"I just don't get it" Just shut up and sit on your naughty step.

Looks like we are going to have company for dinner honey!


No, that isn't dirt, it's ANTS! I don't know why they are breaking into our house, there's no food in there. Trust me, I've checked! I guess it's time to call Orkin.

I've been painting the last few days. Not that painting is on my to do list. There are other things that I should be doing, like cleaning. Why not add more pain to injury and totally trash the house by moving the furniture away from the walls and taking everything down. Yes, let's. You know what is even better than that though? Is getting the job done, getting everything cleaned up and put away and standing back to admire your work....


....to realize you missed a spot. Ok, that is more than a spot. That is like a total area. How the heck did I do that? I mean, I could cover one whole butt cheek by sitting in the tray of paint and yet I miss that spot....errr....area. Every single freaking time I paint, I manage to sit in the tray of paint. You would think that I would learn by now, but nope. Atleast you can see the two different colors. Bye bye yellow! Weeeellllll....except for that spot....

I do have the event of the year to plan for. Can you believe that my oldest is going to turn 16 in March?! I don't know how she got so old and I manage to stay 21. I mean, oh my garsh, really?! She is already planning her party too. she wants a big party. A rock and roll party. I don't know how I am going to pull that one off. I wonder if she would just settle for Strawberry Shortcake and call it good. A karaoke machine. Has to have a karaoke machine too. I mean really, does she know how poorly her friends sing? Does she know how poorly mom sings after a few cocktails? Does she know how bad mom sings sober?

Speaking of singing, do you remember Tiffany the singer? She had that song "I Think We Are Alone Now"? Remember her? Who told that poor woman she could act?! Of course it was a very well made movie, NOT!

That is about all for my ramblings for now. I still need to have BJ @ Sweet Nothings contact me about her prize! I am doing a pizza party with my nieces tonight. FUN! I may even share with you all my superdedooper BLT pizza! Yum!

See ya later!

7 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

you are such a mess! but you make me laugh. :)

Barbara F. said...

You are hilarious! I think you could pull off a television show! xo

Red Couch Recipes said...

That was an epic ADD ramble and I loved it. Sounds like you are a mother that needs her kids back in school...Mean mother that I am, I tell me kids that if they are bored, they must be a boring person.

Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Just tell them if they're bored there's plenty of cleaning to do... never fails:@)

Beth said...

I agree with Lynn...there's PLENTY you could help me with here in the house...here's the vacuum, there's a dustcloth, go wash the car! Maggie, you are a hoot! Have a good weekend.
Beth

Lori said...

Holy ants batman!! Samantha has been "bored" all summer at 12 ~ we were never bored at that age! You never cease to amaze me Maggie ~ with so much going on all the time just reading about what you are doing tires me out and I require a cocktail or two... Hugs my dear friend. xo

Southern Lady said...

Yea! It worked! You do not know how many times I have tried to comment on your blog lately. I have wanted to tell you how cute your kids were, how funny some of your posts were,.....the list goes on. For some reason I was unable to comment until I posted about my troubles and several bloggers came to my rescue. They told me how I needed to uncheck the sign in and my commenting would work. Thank goodness it did! I can now comment on your blog! Yipee! Carla