Saturday, November 28, 2009

What to do with 853 cups of cooked pumpkin....

or 101 ways to drive yourself crazy!

Weeeell.... maybe not 101 but quite a few.

See, the subdivision behind us does a Halloween party for the kids every year. Face painting, magic shows, treats and pumpkins are available to everyone. This year though they threw it on Halloween. Who the heck wants to run home and carve ANOTHER pumpkin 3 hours before trick or treating?? Needless to say they had quite a few pumpkins left over. Me and my ingenious ideas thought "Hey! I could make actual homemade pumpkin pies!"

Sometimes I just want to slap myself.

Do you know how many cups of pumpkins you get from cooking off 11 pumpkins?



Too much! So let's make some pumpkin goodness for Thanksgiving!

First of all you need cook your pumpkins. You do need to wash the outside of the pumpkin first. To do that, cut around the stem and remove. Then clean out all the slimey stringy gunk and seeds. If you want to really torture yourself, save the seeds to roast. Just throw them in a bowl for now, we will get to that later. Cut the pumpkins in half and cut side up put on a baking sheet and cook til tender, about an hour or more, at 350.

Why is there no degree icon thingy on a keyboard?



Anyways, while those are cooking, I got a little project to entertain ya!

Pumpkin Candies!



They look really cute and are easy to make.

You'll need: Cheap saran wrap, green floral tape, a 1 cup measuring cup, scissors and packages of orange slice candies.



Take the measuring cup and tear off a piece of saran wrap. If you are like me, spend 5 minutes straightening out the wrap cause you manage to wad it into a ball ripping it off. Place it over the measuring cup and push into the cup. Next take your orange candies and arrange them inside the cup to form a ball.



See what I mean? Then gather the wrap and into the center of the ball and pull tight. Pull the ball out of the cup, twist up tight and wrap the floral tape to make a stem. Cut off the excess wrap.

Tip: Cut your piece of floral tape first cause there is nothing like trying to hold this together and cut floral tape with your toes.

By now your pumpkin should be cooked. I scraped it out of the shell and ran it through the food processor. You can cut off the shell. It's easier done about 5 minutes after it comes out though. You can also use a blender to puree it too.

So now you are probably at my mindset "What was I thinking and what am I going to do with all this freaking pumpkin?"

Pumpkin Pie



Okay, this is a given! You can make your own pie crust but since I can't make pie crust for the life of me, I use the ready made stuff.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Mix together
2 cups cooked or canned pumpkin
1-1/2 cups evaporated milk
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon cloves
2 slightly beaten eggs

Pour into prepared pie shell. Bake 15 minutes at 425 then lower temp to 350 and bake 45 minutes longer or until a knife inserted comes out clean. Cool. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Pumpkin Cheesecake

(I didn't take a pic of this, I guess I forgot)

Crust:
1-1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
5 tablespoons butter, melted
1 tablespoon sugar

Filling:
3 - 8 oz packages cream cheese, room temp
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup cooked or canned pumpkin
3 eggs
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon allspice

Whipped cream
Caramel sauce (the ice cream kind)

Mix crust ingredients together. Press into the bottom of a 8 inch springform pan and up the sides. Bake for 5 minutes at 350. Cool.

Mix cream cheese, sugar and vanilla til smooth. Add pumpkin, eggs and spices and mix til creamy and unlumpy. Pour into cooled crust. Bake 1 hour at 350. Top should be slightly darker. Cool and then refrigerate. Before serving, remove sides of springform pan. Dollop whipped cream around top edge of cake. Drizzle with caramel sauce and serve.

Pumpkin Muffins



Preheat oven to 400 degrees

In one large bowl sift together:
1-3/4 cups flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons double acting baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg

In a separate bowl beat 2 eggs. Add to eggs:
3 tablespoons butter, melted
3/4 cup milk
1 cup cooked or canned pumpkin

Fold in egg mixture to flour mixture til blended. Fill muffin cups 3/4 full. Bake 20 mins. Cool.

You can also add half a bag of chocolate chips to the mix for a different taste.

Then there also is roasted pumpkin seeds. You can roast them in an oven at 300 degrees turning often. There is of course salt that you can add when roasting. Sprinkling smoked paprika over them is very yummy!



All your hard work also makes a nice hostess gift. I just covered a tinfoil pan with some pretty wrapping paper, filled it with shredded paper and added some goodies. A bow with some floral junk and a card and you are already to go!

You can also freeze the pumpkin for future use. My tribe likes the pureed pumpkin cooked with brown sugar and butter and served like mashed potatoes. No gravy though, that would be gross. I just used my seal a meal to package up the remaining 543 cups for the freezer.

Enjoy!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Are You Smarter Than....

Yes folks, welcome to another episode of "Are You Smarter Than". Today's choice of profession is...


a Pharmacist!

Now for your question which is worth a 2nd grade diploma!

If you have to fill a prescription that says "Take 1 pill 2 times a day for 10 days". How many pills would you have to dispense?

Dingding! Time's up! If you said 20 pills you are incorrect!

Yes, I had this problem with my pharmacist. You see HE has a college edumacation and is mucho smarter than me. I wish he could do simple 2nd grade math though.

I went to him cause I noticed that the script I had for the next 10 days was almost gone. I just got it on Thursday. I don't think that was 10 days ago. I could be wrong though. He came to the window and I explained the problem. Very nicely, he took the bottle and looked it over. Then handed it back and said "What is the problem?"

Wellll.... right on the bottle for quantity it says 10.

And?

Welll.... 2 pills a day for 10 days would be 20 not 10.

While he mulled this over the little guys were urging me to grab him by the shirt, pull him close and scream at him "DUDE! 2 x 10 is 20! Not 10!

"I still don't see what the problem is Ma'am". Did he just call me ma'am? Ma'am?! Now I am trying to remember when was the last time I colored my hair. Are my gray roots showing? Should I also get hair color?

Nevermind. Now I can feel a headache coming on from the little guys jumping up and down and screaming at me. I want to go and get flashcards from aisle 11 to help me. I even thought about drawing out a diagram like I did for my kids when they were learning multiplication. I know he has a college education and he assumes I do not cause he is looking at me like I am a freaking idiot.

2 x 10 = 20!

Get a calculator!

Take off your shoes!

Do whatever it will take for you to get the right answer. I'll wait!

His solution? "Ma'am" (Okay Doogey, stop calling me ma'am, do I look 80?!) "you will have to call your doctor if you have a problem with the prescription"

Why? Was she also your 2nd grade teacher? Cause right now I am holding back the urge to b&#@hslap you and her!

Arrrrgh! So here I am. Waiting for 9 am when the doctor's office opens. Hoping that she is smarter than a pharmacist.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Play Date!

It used to be that every year my sister and I would go to Bronner's the day after Thanksgiving. Bronner's is noted as the world's largest Christmas store. Don't know if that is true or not. It is really big.

Anyways.... last year we changed it. We went to Bronner's and they were having a Fontanini signing. My sister has been collecting them for years. Last year I started mine.


Lore bought me the angel to get started.



I bought the creche....



and the Holy Family. All are signed by Stefano Fontanini, one of the brothers that run the business.

Today we went and Emmanuel Fontanini was signing.



I got the King's tent....



which came with these 2 cute tables....



Mary's donkey that she rode in on....



an ox for the other side of the stable....


2 cute little light up campfires....



and the Three Kings, Melchior who brought gold....



Gaspar who came from India and brought frankincense....



and Balthazar who came from Africa and brought myrrh.


For right now it is on the mantle....



since someone will not leave it alone. She keeps telling the donkey he is drinking too much water and taking away his trough. I wonder if she realizes it is not real?

I swear collecting these is sooo addictive! I want to get everything right now! I have started my list of things to get for next year.

Does anyone else add onto a collection at Christmas?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Things I Am Thankful For....

Thanksgiving is almost here. So I thought I would jump on the bandwagon of things I am thankful for. Besides the usual, a wonderful and loving husband, 3 beautiful children, a roof over our heads, blah, blah blah, these are the things I am thankful for that I don't appreciate throughout the year.

1. Snooze buttons! I have hit my poor snooze button so many times that I have worn off the lettering. I do love you even if I don't tell ya though snooze button!

2. Blue jeans with spandex woven in! Who, pray tell, was the GENIUS who thunk up this one! Thank you from the bottom of my saggy butt and my ever expanding hips!

3. Chilly days! Not cold, just chilly. Chilly enough to wear a sweater and not look out of place. This way I can go braless under my t-shirt, throw on a sweater and go to the kids school. You can't do this when it is cold. If it is cold they want to take your coat. They never ever offer to take a sweater. It's just assumed it's part of your ensemble! Note - you have to say ensemble in an uppity voice too.

4. Chocolate! Who isn't grateful for chocolate?! Don't go putting crap in my chocolate either, like nuts or nasty creamy crap. Oh, except if it is a cherry! Cherries are the exception. Chocolate covered cherries rock!

5. Coffee! Mmmm.... nothing like waking up to fresh coffee. Also, don't go putting funky crap in my coffee either. No pumpkin pie, no peppermints, nothing. If I want that I will order it seperate, not dumped into one hot steamy concoction. Just some cream and sugar cause lawd knows you can't buy decent coffee to serve in your establishments.

6. The UPS man! I love seeing the UPS truck pull up in my drive. I know he is not bringing me bills, no bad news, no adjustments to your insurance policy, just presents! Yeah, yeah, I know I ordered it. It's still a present to me.

7. Full coverage insurance! For all of you drivers that freaking now you are in a lane that is going to merge to one lane after the light but still get in it and try to race up to the front. You really are NOT that important! Don't expect me to let you over, I got full coverage!

8. Drive thru windows! I think more stores should implement this. I don't know how many times I have run through the drive thru in my Power Puff Girl jammies. Think I WANT to get out of the car? Puh-lease!

9. Dogs! I love my dog. Do you know how less often I have to vacuum since I have gotten a dog. She eats anything including some things that do move. I mean for crissakes she has no taste buds, she licks her butt! If it's on the floor it is fair game to her. It is kinda funny to watch the kids race her to candy that has fallen on the floor.

10. 3 hour naps! Need I say more?

Those are just the top 10 I can think of. To all the other things that I take for granted and did not include my sincere apologies!

Thank you again for everyone and their well wishes! As you can see the pain meds are kicking in quite nicely. I have a couple of projects that I want to get done before the hubster comes home on Wednesday. So look for those hopefully soon!

Back to the bedrest!

Linked to 320 Sycamore for the Things That I Love party.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Day At The Doctor's

Today was the wonderful "get right in" trip to the doctor's.

Of course I was dressed to kill in my usual finery.



Hey what did you expect, I've been drinking cranberry juice for the last 4 days. It tends to put a little pucker power in ya! So.... in I go. My doctor is not in cause he is delivering a baby. Yes, my doctor is my OB/GYN. I usually don't get sick. Anyways, they tell me that one of his associates will be seeing me. Panic attack!

Why you may ask? Cause one of his associates is freaking hot! How a hot guy "associates" with a dork is beyond me. Maybe the OB/GYN herd is a little slim on hot guys to associate with. I don't know. So in I go, hoping and promising my first born if I don't get the hot one.

I got the chick.

The only girl in the associates. I can totally see why a girl would want to be in their association since they do have a token hottie. I like her though she has a sense of humor. So I tell her what is ailing me. She comes over and thumps me on the back "Does that hurt?" The little guys in my head tempt me to punch her in the shoulder and say "Does THAT hurt?" I resist though. Then she goes on. Of course they are all nosey and have to ask if you are on birth control. That is a sneaky way of asking if you are sexually active without coming out and saying it. HELLO! Married to a younger man? But I look at her seriously and say "Yes, we use the pull and pray method".

Atleast she giggled.

Then she tells me to pee in this itty bitty cup. They have to do a prego test cause the antibiotics that they want to prescribe can cause birth defects. Now peeing in those little dixie cups is hard enough for me when I am not cringing in pain. I guess I am just a lousy shot. I can however write my name in the snow! Nevermind....

Pregnancy test huh?



I didn't even study. This is where a major panic attack comes in. See, barring prenatal visits, I have been to the doctor 5 times since I have been with my husband. Each time I went in with an innocent complaint and came out pregnant. 2 weren't meant to be though. My husband told me he was worried that they would find me pregnant. Back in she comes, smiling. " Bad news with the test" she says "you're not pregnant". Bad news???? The little guys in my head are now beating the crap out of an efigy of her.

So now I have been prescribed more bedrest after I run to pick up kids. Oh and pick up meds that are going to turn my pee orangey. Orangey my fat fanny! That stuff glows in the dark! I could dip my clothes in that and go hunting! A little orangey.....

On a better note though, I got a very sweet gift today!



It's a Love Ya Award from Deb @ Proper Prim! Thank you sooo much Deb! You are too sweet and what you said made me blush!




Now I am going to share the love with Yvonne @ Stone Gables. I just love her blog! It's amazing that I have not shorted out my keyboard with drool. Her photography is beautiful, her food is scrumptious and her tablescapes are breathtaking.

Thank you to everyone for all your well wishes. I hope to be feeling better soon since I am a hunting widow til next Wednesday. Oh the projects that I could get done!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bedrest -

When I think of bedrest I envision this....



and him attending my every need....

I could be sick for quite awhile.

The reality of bedrest is not that pretty though.

I started to feel crappy on Sunday. I didn't think that screaming in pain and peeing blood was normal. I could go to the emergency room....

Flashback time!

The last time I took the circus to the emergency room with me the 11 year old entertained the 2 year old by putting a rubber glove on her head and convincing her to run through the halls acting like a rooster.

I'm pretty sure that I am not allowed in that hospital anymore.

So I decided to stick it out til morning when I could call and get an appointment with my doctor. He is a few dollars cheaper than an emergency room visit also.

So I called and talked to the doctor. He was concerned and told me to get in as soon as I could. Then he transferred me to the receptionist to see when she could get me in. Ok, so far no problem. The husband could pick the dog up from the vet where she was getting spayed. It seems that as soon as you can is not what I thought it meant. It means as soon as the doctor can. How's Thursday at 11 am. Ummmm? Ok. Oh yeah and in the meantime drink lots of cranberry juice to help flush out the infection, take aleve for pain and BEDREST.

There it is bedrest.... What is bedrest? Well I am sure there really is a technical definition for it. Here is mine though.

1. Lay on the couch while a 2 year old jumps up and down on you while you watch Barney for the brain numbing 245th time. This is usually the day also that she has decided not to take her 3 hour nap. Thus resulting in a lot of tears and screaming while the kids look at you like your head just spun around.

2. Picking up dog crap. Yes, that is not something I normally do but the morphine that the dog was given has resulted in her being loopy. You can ask kids to pick it up for you but again you are looked at like you just sprouted another head. "It's warm" Well for crissakes let it cool off then! I mean how long does it take dog crap to cool off? I even considered, when the pain got bad, taking the dog's pain meds. The bottle says "for veterinary purposes only". I can be a real b*&$h sometimes, but I didn't think I qualified.

3. You only can make 2456 trips up the stairs to get a story book instead of the usual 5782 times!

4. You can sit at the computer if nothing else but to look up the criteria on how to get your name changed legally from "Mom". Oh yeah, and DON'T in a fit of pain kiddingly tell the kids that you changed your name to s*#@thead. It's alot of work trying to explain now why the 2 year old is now running around calling you that. Some people are not easily amused.

5. Make a list of people you have to send apology cards to for your snippiness. Like the extremely nice vet tech. You bring a jumpy happy Great Dane but they don't realize (a) she is an idiot and does not know how to act in public (b) at home she is usually comatose. Keeping her quiet is no problem. I can't even get her to bark when someone is at the door. She just kinda lifts up her head and gives a wimpy wuff.

Preschedule as many as possible things to do while on bedrest. Of course you won't know that this is the week for bedrest. So it does add a little element of surprise. Like the parent teacher conferences that take 2 hours to get through. Or the PTO meeting that you have to attend cause you are president. Hopefully, you will also have a guest speaker that you have to endure. Or the fact that you volunteered to make 6 dozen Bannock cakes for your oldest daughters class. You know, fun things like that. Now if you run out of things to do, you can also tell your husband to get sick also. That is always fun whether you are on bedrest or not.

Now if you will excuse me, I have 3 loads of laundry, a dishwasher to empty and fill and more warm dog crap to pick up.....

Cause I'm on bedrest!




Sunday, November 15, 2009

Where Once There Was One....

Now there is two!

See I Got These 2 Chairs....


I stripped off all the fabric and had my husband restian them about 10 years ago. Since then they have been sitting in the basement. I don't know why I never did them, I had all the stuff to do them.

Cindy is having her "I made it with what I had" party and I thought this was the perfect thing to do for it.

First of all I did the seat. It's the easiest. Being the rocket scientist that I am, I long ago tossed all the fabric. So I had to make my own pattern.


I covered the cushion with upholstery batting. Then I took the whole thing and drew around it plus 4" on the back of my fabric.


Then I stapled it to the underside with my electric staple gun. Then I got to work on the frame. I cut my pieces as I went since I didn't have a pattern and was feeling lazy. I covered the sides of the back and put the trim around the edge.



As you can see I did have a helper. Too bad she didn't bring her 7 short guys with her! I put some batting on the top of the frame to make it cushy for sitting in. I then covered it wih quilt batting for more cushiness.


I just cut squares large enough to fit. I started with the front first then moved to the back.



I cut strips of thin cardboard, flipped the fabric over and tacked them in place. You can buy tack strips but I was lazy and didn't feel like running for some. I used the instructions on the transition strip that is yet to be installed. I'm sure my husband doesn't need them.


This is what it looks like with the fabric folded down. Then I stapled it in place. Here is a hint for you. If you are upholstering, wear a short sleeved shirt. It is hard to drag around a chair you stapled your sweater to while you try to find the staple puller tool the girl has run off with.


I trimmed all the excess fabric and folded over the trim pieces. I then added a little detail with some nailhead trim I had.



Ta daa! One chair done and one to go. I think I am going to add some nailhead trim to the edge of the seat. I want to get the other one done first so I can see if I have enough left. Probably do I got 10 yards of the stuff!

I'm pretty happy with it if I do say so myself. I am going to get some small cushions for them also.

Now to get crack-a-lacking on that other one!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Christmas Plans

With Thanksgiving being 2 weeks away, I am starting my Christmas plans.

We have Christmas here for the family. My MIL does Thanksgiving at her house for the family and my SIL does Easter. So yesterday I started to gather things here and try to decide on a Christmas card, since they get mailed out the day after Thanksgiving.

Then I went to Walgreen's....

The deal they had on boxed cards was just too good to be passed up! Buy 1 and get 2(!) free! So for 6.99 plus tax I got cards for this year. These are the 2 boxes that I am going to send out....



Plain and simple. Of course the Christmas pig ones were very cute too! My husband does not share my sense of humor though, so I passed on them.

Now to make my list and check it twice!

We also do a theme for Christmas and this year it is going to be England. Every year we do a different country and do traditional food from that country. We also do some of the customs from that country for Christmas. We gift Christmas bulbs that I get at our annual Bronner's trip. The bulbs have that country on the front and on the back is a bit about their Christmas traditions. Gives the kids a look into Christmas in other parts of the world. Last year we did Italy because I was on an Italian cooking binge. Next year we are doing Australia since my husband and I are going there next summer.

If you have any good Christmas goose recipes or tips (hint hint Yvonne and Jacqueline!) let me know!

Now I got a funny Christmas story for you. Since it happened 11 years ago it is funny now. Our son was almost 3 months old and I was planning Christmas dinner for about 20 people in our old little house. We had just gotten a new stove the previous summer. I loved my new stove cause the oven and all 4 burners worked. I planned on cooking a "turkaling". You take a cornish hen, debone it, and stuff it back into shape with one kind of stuffing. Then you take a duck, debone it, put the cornish hen inside and put another kind of stuffing around inside it. Then you do a capon, debone it, put the 2 other birds inside it and put another kind of stuffing around them. Then you debone a turkey, put the other 3 birds inside and another kind of stuffing around them. Then you debone a goose, put the other 4 birds inside and another kind of stuffing around them. Then bake.

It took me 3 days to do the prep work for these suckers! Deboning a bird is not a fun or easy task. So Christmas Eve we baked it. We cooked it on a cookie sheet and wrapped about 2 boxes of aluminum foil around it. Jeffrey woke up at 2 am to be fed and when I walked out of our room the entire house was engulfed with smoke! I woke up my husband and we found that the grease had started to drip out of the aluminum foil. We sucked out as much grease and juices as we could and thought it good. Opened all the windows to air out the house I had just spent 2 weeks cleaning too. Then I took Jeffrey into the living room to feed him.

I kept thinking when he was eating that it seemed to be getting smokey again. After he was done, I went to take him into the bedroom to put back to bed. We had to pass through our kitchen to get to the bedrooms. I looked over and flames were coming out of my new stove! I screamed for Jeff and he came running. He opened the oven and the whole thing was on fire! I just stood there crying as he put out the fire with a fire extinguisher.

The house was trashed, the stove was unusable and dinner was ruined. Jeff tried to make jokes about it but that just made me more upset. He carefully unwrapped it and all that tinfoil had kept the fire extinguisher crap from getting in. So at 5 am he took it over to his mom's and had her finish cooking it. It was very good. Everyone loved it. Don't know if it was worth destroying the kitchen for though.

So there is my funny Christmas story. Haven't made a turkaling since either.

That reminds me I have to get a really really deep pan to cook a goose in!

So I am off to write out Christmas cards to be mailed.

***

Don't forget about Cindy's party on the 16th!

My little thing has to do with this area....



and having people over for the holidays.

I still need to plan a birthday party for Syrina who turns 3 on New Year's Eve....

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Beautiful Giveaway!

Isn't this just gorgeous?



It is ONE of the items Tracey @ French Larkspur is gifting in her new giveaway!

I would love to have this on my kitchen table.

The text is on both ends.

Good Luck to everyone!

Visit her site to see the other goodies she has in her giveaway and store. They are all gorgeous, this is just my fav.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Semper Fi!

Semper Fi!

Short for Semper Fidelis

Latin for "Always Faithful!"



It was on this day in 1775 that the Continental Congress commissioned Samuel Nicholas to raise two Battalions of Marines. Nicholas then appointed Robert Mullen, proprietor of Tun Tavern, to the job of Chief Marine Recruiter. Tun Tavern was used to recruit men for the new Corps of Marines. Lured by (1) cold beer and (2) the chance to serve in the new Corps, prospective recruits flocked to the tavern to sign up. It is for this reason that Tun Tavern is considered the birthplace of the USMC.



You may have heard the Marines referred to as "Devil Dogs". This nickname was given to the Marines by the Germans. Teufelhunden is translated to devil dog. The name was associated with the vicious dogs of Bavarian folklore. During the Battle of Belleau Woods the Marines captured the french village from the Germans. In the village was a fountain with a bull mastiff head from which the water flowed. The English Bulldog was soon adopted by the Marine Corps.



The Marines soon obtained an English Bulldog for their icon. On October 14, 1922 King Bismark was renamed Jiggs and inducted into the Corps by BGen Smedley Butler. He quickly rose through the ranks to Sgt Major Jiggs. Sadly he passed away on Jan 3, 1927. He laid in state at Quantico and was buried with full military honors. Former Heavyweight Boxing Champ James Tunnely donated his English Bulldog as a replacement. He was renamed Jiggs and enlisted. He proved to be quite a handful much unlike his predecessor. He died of heat exhaustion in 1928 after one of his rampages. All future bulldogs have been named Smedley after BGen Buttler until 1950. After that they have been named Chesty in honor of Lt Gen Lewis "Chesty" Puller.



So there ya go. Some interesting facts about the USMC.

Happy Birthday to my husband, Sgt Jeff DeLauder, and all the other Marines who have served our country well!

Semper Fi!





Monday, November 9, 2009

The Guest

Ok, so I promised a guest blogger today and without further ado...

My son Jeffrey!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

well I could go on forever about the non blogged stuff but I SHOULD talk about what my mom wants me to talk about but NAH! It's more fun to talk about what's not on here! It seemed like only yesterday my oh wait ok you can stop waiting it was yesterday the Muzzah (my mom) broke my ladder in the process of fixing something else. my light cover thingymabobber fell off and so my mom,I and the whole circus except dad (luckily) went to home depot to get a new light. I picked out this one with three mini search-lights. it was so cool until I got home. We (referring to my mom and I) climbed up the ladder safely put it in. And as usual mom kept on cussing as she worked you know sometimes I wish she could be more like handy manny. You know goes out to the tool box get her walking talking singing tools and go up there and sing songs just like on the show but anyways the muzzah came down safely as I waited for the light bulbs I got bored so I went down to the living room to watch the boob tube (you young people thats a TV) she came back up and gave me the light bulbs. I put them in but one I twisted wrong so she came back up and fixed and then she almost partied wooooooo! I finally took something off dad's list she climbed down she was on the last step CRACK! OMG! she broke my ladder so lesson learned no ladders for the large. Hey if it could'nt hold my mom how did it hold my friend morgan you know she went to a LAKE she went in the whales jumped up and said we are family and there aren't even whales in a lake! Well living with mom is fun she has alot to do in the white farmhouse down the road!

SEE YA!

Girls Who Wear Glasses!

So I was asked the question if I wear glasses.

Survey says....

Nope!

Cause I can't ever find the damn things!

I usually wear contacts but sometimes that is just too much work. So I walk around feeling my way through life cause the glasses are MIA. I even thought I would outsmart the suckers and buy like 20 pairs at the dollar store. Didn't work. But I didn't stress cause I had alot more. Until they were all gone!

I find them all over the place. Obviously at the time I thought that would be a good place to put glasses. Not really though. I still wonder about the pair I found in the freezer. Don't know what I was thinking there....

Some I have thrown away. There was no way in hedoublehockeysticks I was EVER going to wear them! Like the pair that fell into the plugged up toilet when I leaned over to see what was the problem. BTW the problem was my son had tried to flush a washcloth and my dad's cell phone. Those got chucked. I also found a pair in my husband's sock drawer. Don't know why I would ever even use that as a hiding place. I do think the wee one is playing games on me though cause I found a pair in the dog food bag the other day. Speaking of the wee one, she likes to gnaw off the little noseguards on my glasses too. Don't know what is up with that.

But it is not just glasses. I lose everything! I will buy something on sale for a gift, put it away til the appropriate occassion and forget all about it. I don't think my neice will still want the set of My Little Ponies that are in a bag with her name on them. She's 18 now. I even have a "Do Not Buy" list on my fridge. That is all the stuff I am not allowed to buy til I have used up what I have now. Like jello. I got 20 boxes of jello in my cupboard! Funky flavors too. Lemon jello?! Who the heck in their right mind would even consciously put lemon jello in their mouth? I guess I felt sorry for it or something. I got 3 boxes. But when they were scattered throughout the cupboards it didn't seem so bad. Now that the kitchen has been organized it looks like I have a jello fetish. Funny thing is, my kids don't really care for jello. And don't try to suspend fruit in it to dress it up either, they think that is gross.

Then there is the fact that my kids try to take advantage of my feeble mind. I found a pack of panty liners one time in my son's room. I took them out. Really thought I was losing it by stashing panty liners in my sons room?? Why in the heck would I EVER need panty liners in there? Maybe a gas mask, but panty liners. So a couple of days later, yes it takes me that long to work up the nerve to go back in there, I go in and find them there AGAIN! So this goes on for a couple of days.

Finally my son comes up to me, hands on his hips and that look on his face like "Girl, are you in trouble now". I am trying to figure out what I did wrong now. It's been atleast a month since I wore my PowerPuff girl jammies to drop him off at school. Not to get sidetracked but when you wear your Powerpuff girl jammies out in public cause you are going to be quick, does the principal have something uber important to talk to you about?!

Anyways, he starts by asking me why I keep taking his odoreaters out of his room? Odoreaters? What the frick is he talking about? From behind his back he pulls out a box of panty liners. Do you know how hard it is not to laugh when your 7 year old son is trying to be serious? Trying to explain how he likes these odoreaters cause they are cushy and super absorbent?! OMG! Yes, he was seriously using panty liners in his shoes. He tried to tell me that he likes those more than the others. The others are too thick! I was laughing too hard to listen though.

So to answer the question, yes I do wear glasses. When I can find them WITH nose guards intact.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Why?

So here are some of the things I have been trying to figure out why for?

Why does my husband have to turn his dirty socks inside out? Remember I got a foot touching barf syndrome (BTFS). He takes off his socks and turns them inside out. HE has a sock thing though. He can take up to 15 minutes matching up a pair of socks. Hello! They are all the same! I buy the same brand for him every single freaking time. He used to pin them together so the pairs would stay a pair. I broke him of that though. I don't match up pairs of socks either. I divide everyones socks into a pile and toss them in their drawers. End of story. The less sock handling the better. BUT.... I can't put a sock into the washer with it being turned inside out. I rewash it if I find one like that. Weird huh?! So does he turn his socks inside out to be sure that they are being washed? Like it is so much fun being in the dungeon with the snakes and mice and spiders that I just go down there and sit and pretend like I am doing laundry? I don't think so! STOP TURNING YOUR SOCKS INSIDE OUT!!

I should of had this written into the marriage vows.

Why does my daughter, the youngest one not the older one, think there are monkey bars in bathrooms? I always take her into the handicapped stalls cause two people, one being a bit overweight, trying to manage in those itty bitty areas is a bit disturbing. Kinda like a monkey screwing a bowling ball. I take her in there and she just has to shout "Mommy! This one has monkey bars!" We never are alone either. So she gets embarrassed when she hears someone giggling at her. She is so happy with her great grandma cause she put monkey bars in her bathroom too! ENOUGH WITH THE MONKEY BARS!!

Alot of whys have to do with my son. Why are there footprints on HIS CEILING?? What the heck? He says he likes to lay in his top bunk, playing video games with his feet on the ceiling. I also made the mistake of telling him to NOT take food in his room as he was going to draw in critters. Did that stop him? Heck no! I found a whole spread in his room one time. Asked him what it was for and he said he was doing an experiment to see what food brings what bugs/critters. Okay, you are not Bill Nye. Stop with the science experiment! AND... DON'T expect sympathy at 2 am when you are awakened by something scratching around in your room!

Why does the oldest one have to move my stuff when I am working on something? It usually is across the room too. I was painting one time, knew right where the paint tray was and stepped back right into it. Why? Cause she moved it so I wouldn't spill it. She also likes to move nails out of reach so the wee one won't get them. I don't know how many times I have done my Stretch Armstrong impersonation trying to hold something up and reach the nails. LEAVE MY STUFF WHERE IT IS! i MAY NOT LOOK LIKE IT, BUT I DO KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!

Why do my kids have to hang over my shoulder when I am writing a new post? (Did they get the hint and leave yet?) OMG! It drives me bonkers! And it doesn't take alot to drive me bonkers. Don't do it and eat either! It's like a herd of cattle hanging out and eating their cud! Atleast chew with your mouth closed for crissakes! And don't repeat what I am typing! (Jeffrey!)

Why do dogs have to make such a production out of licking themselves? Holy crap Batman! There is nothing grosser, besides feet and dirty hairbrushes, than waking up to hear a dog grunting and groaning while they lick themselves clean. OMG! GET A WASHCLOTH! TAKE A BATH! GO IN JEFFREY'S ROOM! JUST STOP WITH THE LICKING!

And once you are done with the licking, don't come up and stick your nose in my face! Go see Dad, he's still asleep!

And speaking of sleep, why do men sleep so soundly? When we were first married, I heard voices out on the street. I woke up and went to the window to find people out on the street watching the fire department putting out a house. There were engines and sirens going on for hours. The next morning my husband wakes up and looks out. "The house across the street is burned". Well no s&*t Sherlock! Now brag about how soundly you sleep....

Underwear. Why is it that you can be in the house all day and fine. As soon as you step out in public your underwear HAS to ride up your butt? Is gravity greater in my house? I don't walk differently in public. That is not until my underwear is firmly planted between my butt cheeks! Then comes the discreet saunter that is supposed to get it out and never works. I don't know how ANYONE could wear a thong! That would be ugly. And why does UNDERwear have to show? I don't care if you got new skivvies, I don't want to see them! PULL YOUR BRITCHES UP!

There are more too. I will save them for another day when I have nothing else to post about. I know, I know, you can't wait huh?

I did get my moldings up AND painted though! Yeah for me!

Tomorrow I am having a guest poster. My son Jeffrey. He will probably just brag about what a loving mother I am though. He is bugging me to do a post. I am very scared though.

A Giveaway!

Jan @ Bobbypins Boardwalk is having a giveaway!


A signed copy of Christopher Lowell's book!

I love Christopher!

If you haven't read his book you should. It just makes sense! I think if I followed it more, I wouldn't make so many mistakes!

His organizing book is great to!

So go sign up!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

A New Award!

Thank you soooo much to Lori @ Wildflowers for my new award!



She is just the sweetest and most thoughtful cutie patootie there is! One day I plan on going to Canada just to spend the weekend with her and a few cocktails!

The rules are:

~thank this person who nominated you for the award
~copy the logo and place it on your blog
~link to the person who nominated you
~name 7 things about yourself that people may not know
~nominate 7 creative bloggers
~post their links
~leave a comment on each

So lets see, 7 things you may not know about me. Hmmm......

1. Feet gross me out! I hate touching feet or having my feet touched. Don't ask me to rub your little tootsies for you cause I may barf. I hate touching socks that have been on feet too.

2. Flying terrifies me yet I was Airborne and Air Assault qualified in the Army. If I can be comatose while on a plane all the better!

3. I am 47 and my husband is only 35. Well Dec 10th he will be 35. People always think he is older than me though! LOL!

4. I hate cleaning out hairbrushes. Picking up wads of hair makes me want to barf. I can't use a hairbrush if it has hair in it though.

5. I hate wearing a bra! They just bug the crap out of me.

6. We got married after the two oldest kids were born.

7. I like the smell of gasoline.

So there ya go. That was harder than I thought!

Now for 7 nominees

Marydon @ Feedsack Fantasies who is one of the nicest peeps that I have met. I love her blog. She finds the most interesting stories and posts them.

Carmen @ Life with Sprinkles on Top She finds some of the most interesting things to post about! I love seeing pics of her cute kids!

Jan @ Bobbypins Boardwalk I love her outlook on life. She also has some great craft ideas!

Misha @ From My Front Porch In The Mountains I love her posts! Especially the ones about her new fourlegged baby!

Carole @ A Bohemian Market I love Carole! She is so warm, sweet, thoughtful and inspiring! She always knows the right thing to say to make me feel better. I love her little granddaughter too! Talk about a cutie patootie!

Sam @ A Quiche Woman In a Barbecue Town Sam's is a fairly new blog, but I can't wait to see what she comes up with!

AnNicole @ Our Suburban Cottage I get so inspired by her blog. It is so full of information and she has such a sense of humor!

Thank you again Lori! You are the bestest!

Party on the 16th!

Don't forget that Cindy @ Cottage Instincts is having a party!


It's a "I Made It With What I Had" party!

and there is a giveaway!

Some of her wonderful soap!



I'm sorry Cindy but my photos do not do it justice!

The nice thing about these soaps is that when you display them they make the whole room smell wonderful!



The bad thing about them is that when you display them peeps have a tendency to take some home! I don't see a "free sample" sign anywhere!

So gather your stuff around the house and make something!